I like to complain about my life. I would say that I have a pretty excellent life. I have a nice home, I have a great partner, I have an education which is likely going to serve me well throughout life. Realistically I do not have much to complain about, but I continue to complain nonetheless.

The quote in the title for this post is from The Rules of Attraction. I am not sure if the quote comes from the book, but it is definitely in the movie. I loved both versions. I agree with the sentiment completely. I have been with the same person for over nine years. We have lived together for about 7 years. Nathan knows me better than anyone else in this world, but he continually fails to understand me, as I likewise fail on a regular basis. Maybe I will get to know Nathan even better than I know him now. I guess the more time we spend together the more we do come to understand. After the first few years together though, new understanding comes very slowly, and usually only with great effort.

If it is very difficult to know someone you have seen almost everyday for 9 years how do you ever really get to know people that you only see for a few hours a week. I see some friends on a weekly basis. Others I see far less. I feel very close to some of my friends, but when I think about how well I know them I realize that I do not know them well at all. Perhaps that is to do with the fact that when I socialize with people we tend to drink. While I enjoy hanging out with friends and drinking it is not conducive to really getting to know a person. When I drink I get loud and generally offensive. In my everyday life I am fairly quiet, thoughtful, and probably overly emotional. Most people have no idea who I really am, but that is largely my fault for being such a drunken fool in most social situations.

So how do we get to know anyone for real? I think we simply don’t get to really know anyone else. It helps to spend one on one time with people. It helps to talk about whatever pops into your head. To just let thoughts poor out of your head rather than try to focus on typical or comfortable topics of conversation. Only through really saying what is on your mind can people ever really hope to get a glimpse into who you actually are. When I speak from a stream of consciousness I think that people tend to get annoyed, confused, or both. But so what, that is me, full of thoughts that make little sense, thoughts that do not have any logical order to them. Full of contradictions. I think it is more interesting though to really share what is on your mind, and if the person you are talking to really wants to be your friend, really wants to know you as a person, they will deal with all the weird crazy shit pouring out of your mouth.

This strange, silly little post has gone on long enough. I really do not know what I am talking about. I like to share these types of thoughts though. Likely very few people will ever read this, but those who do, and those who know me, may know me a little bit better (though I highly doubt it).