The fire alarm went off about twenty minutes ago. I hadn’t seen any posters about them testing the system so my immediate thought was that this was for real! I went out onto my patio to try and see signs of smoke or flames but I saw people (the landlords) running around – which was a good enough indication that something fairly serious was going down. Turning back into the apartment, I surveyed what I could take with me before the building burnt into cinders. It is not a very re-assuring process to go through.

I looked at the TV and the gaming consoles as that was what I was using before the alarm went off; I designated them as something I’d get if I had spare time. I looked at the bookcase – and felt a pang in my heart about what books I’d opt to keep and which ones I’d leave. I paced over to my room; clothes would be the first thing to grab. Then my computer, probably, as all my work (that I still haven’t finished) is on it (and I’d only really need to take the tower – everything else is replaceable). After a few minutes had gone by I checked myself – if the fire was in another building in the complex then I’d have quite a bit of time; I should see if anyone else needs help! So I slipped on my sneakers and headed over to where the landlords were fussing.

Apparently there was no fire; the alarm was broken.

I breathed a small sigh of relief and went back to my apartment. And now I’m blogging about it.

It’s pretty sad that the first thing I thought of when I heard the alarm was ‘what belongings can I save’ and then after doing a scatter-brained inventory I began to think about other people in the complex. I guess because we don’t really know anyone around us (aside from seeing people walking past, etc) that my thoughts wouldn’t really go to them – I mean, in cases of emergencies once people are out of immediate danger themselves they then start to think about loved ones (both Brandon and Johnny had gone out for the evening so I didn’t have to worry about them) and then possessions, right? I don’t know. I feel only slightly ashamed that I started thinking of what I could take with me (even though you’re not supposed to take anything with you if you were in a real fire). This is my home. Everything I have is here. Plus, I’m not insured if anything does happen. Ugh, the whole imagined ‘reality’ of a situation like that is just too stressful to go through. Thank goodness it was just a false alarm.

Sorry for the lack of critical insight into an epistemological quandry – I figured trying to write down/out the anxiety would be enough to calm me down and it has. Blogs are wonderfully self-serving in that sense.