Dear Martha,

It’s me again! I’m sorry I haven’t written lately but I haven’t really had much to gripe about. I suppose I’ll do a reasonably cordial letter instead.

Holy crap I’ve done so much baking since the last time! I think the reason I haven’t had to gripe so much is because I’ve actually learned one of the foremost techniques in baking that makes everything about ten times easier (and more delicious): watching the goddamn oven. Seriously. Because I thought baking was a highly technical science (which it is to a degree) I also thought that baking times were fairly exact. However, as a few batches of burnt cookies proved, this is definitely not the case. Instead, cooking time is much more alike to chemical titration – you have to carefully monitor that the goods are getting just the right ‘volume’ of heat. Thankfully, I learned this lesson fairly quickly (no one really likes burnt cookies) and I’m happy to report that several batches of cookies have been met with positive (if you can call sarcastic comments positive) results from fellow apartment residents.

I have to say, I really enjoyed those cashew cookies of yours, Martha! They had just the right amount of sweet and salty. I didn’t, though, attempt your caramel sauce because, generally speaking, whenever I bake I’m pretty messy (the during-baking-clean-up is yet another hurdle I have yet to jump) and that sauce looked ridiculously messy.

I also baked a cake from scratch! The batter for the actual cakes was pretty easy stuff – standard fare, really. When it came to making the icing, though, I definitely had a a bit of a revelation – a revelation on how nasty icing really is! When the first step of making icing is to merely stir room temperature butter (4 sticks of it no less!) I was a little sick to my stomach. Nevertheless, I ended up making an awesome cake! That only I seemed to eat. It was quite sad and so, Martha, in order to keep with the status quo of loving but hating you – I blame my recent weight gain on you!

Yes, I know how it’s all technically my fault but Martha, you provided me with the means to create such tastey morsels. How could anyone resist? Anyway, I’m sure I’ll add more later but now I’m late for work!

Sincerely,

Ian

Advertisements